from the Defender of all Faiths

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Our next Kink speaks. (Ed: Misprint?) Sadly, No 😉

Look chaps, when I ascend, the throne that is, I will sort this all out.

I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding that can be solved by an inter faith dialogue meeting with those those nice people from the Orthodontic Society offering us all herbal teas. (Ed: Sire, do you perhaps mean the Homoeopathic Society? ).

That nice Mr Blair has offered to help too, so at least I will be kept up to date with his good work in Gaza. By the way, “How’s that all going Tony?”

I mean, all these young chaps need is a some jolly good leadership from someone who fully understands them.

It’ll be alright, it really will. Trust me. My dahlias confirm that the astrological portents are all good.

Acknowledgements: One just has to thank that nice Mr Hislop, of Private Eye, for letting one take over the front cover.


Private Eye – probably the best magazine in the world.

Defender of the faith..?

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Seneca (4 – 65 BCE) “Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.” ’nuff said!

I know we all love Queen Elizabeth and the wonderful quiet, dignified way she does her job and feel for her when some of her progeny and relations, have, in the past acted as adulterous, spoiled, brats, but ah bless, isn’t she doing a wonderful job?

The Queen defended the role of the Church of England in a speech at Lambeth Palace
The Queen defended the role of the Church of England in a speech at Lambeth Palace

Well actually, in one very important respect, no; I just have to make a contrarian point here about her “Defender of the Faith” role.

When, this morning, we read “Queen ‘should remain Defender of the Faith’ – a BBC poll suggests”, may I remind you why we have a Church of England at all and a monarch who has the title “Defender of the Faith”?

Henry VIII wanted a new bride and couldn’t divorce her because the Pope forbade it. Henry was a bit miffed at the leader of England’s, then main, religion, i.e. Roman Catholicism, and decided to remove Papal power from England there and then.

Henry VIII taking the tube ...
Henry VIII taking the tube …

This is the short version: Henry invented The Church of England, put himself in charge, made the monarchy sole appointer of the Arch Bishops of Cantebury (just to avoid annoying arguments from god’s appointed etc.) and made Roman Catholicism illegal. Now then – that’s what I call an action plan!

Therefore the Queen, as “Defender the Faith”, is supporting a fabricated religion based on the whims of a horny ancestor.

‘Almost 80% of people in England support a religious role for the Queen, a BBC poll suggests’.

Poppycock! A poll of 2,591 people! You might as well take a survey of a crowd in a football stadium and ask people to vote for their favourite pastime!

The BBC’s blatant support of faith is insulting to the intelligence to the point of being wilfully partisan and therefore, I say, in breach of its impartiality brief.

Acknowledgements:- If I knew who made up the Underground poster I would thank them!