Lords reform, Lord steels Clegg’s conkers (geddit?)

“The Lords Reform Bill is dead.” says Cameraman Senior.

“Oh no it isn’t!” says Cleggy Minor …

The rowdy delinquents are at it again – no parental controls in place as Clegg minor & Cameraman major battle out their respective class captain campaigns for the next two years. Although Cleggy Minor’s dad (Lord Steel) has tried to calm down his errant offspring by calling him “petulant”*2

Once again these silly little boys are spending all their time,  our money, on politics*1 ( see footnote for definition) rather than on the difficult issues of resource management and public sector efficiency.

Just remember – these two kids are supposed to be in charge of Team GB and displaying maturity in quality decision making! Party politics is the root cause of this ridiculous time wasting posturing for position.

I skimmed through the Lords reform bill (174 pages) a couple of days ago and found many, many words written written about mechanisms, timescales, new jobs for old boys and technicalities but precious few on WHY reform was needed.

Lord Steel’s alternative bill

However, Lord Steel’s (Cleggy minor’s dad) alternative bill (2 pages) is much clearer and makes sense to everyone (unless your conkers are being confiscated of course):-

1. Sack all those Lords who have served a prison sentence. (15 would go straight way!)
2. Sack any ‘Lord’ who failed to attend at all in any one term. (Another 300 gone by my quick count)
3. Hereditary peers would no longer be replaced allowing the silliness to gently disappear.
4. Future nominees “All nominees would have to demonstrate conspicuous merit and a willingness and capacity to make a contribution to the work of the House of Lords.”

Well then, ‘What a jolly good idea!’

Until “Lords Reform” is actually defined (Ed: ‘What a jolly good idea!’) it really is pointless to continue with Cleggy Minor’s ill defined pile of time consuming poo.

*1 Politics defined : “the truly pointless discussion of how what ‘someone’ said might be perceived by ‘others’ and whether or not this will damage their ‘credibility’.”

*2 Clegg will look ‘petulant’ unless he backs down, warns Lord Steel (Independent 8th August 2012)