It must be true – I read it in the Daily Mail … 😉
This week Tony Blair has been trying out new destroyer class super-yachts (including the Pelorus, owned by U.S. music mogul David Geffen, pictured), but still has been unable to refine his latest choice about which has the best drinks fridge and best mounting platform for cruise missiles.
One of his spokespersons said that “Tony was feeling a bit left out after being ejected from New Labour by former loyal chums and wanted to take a few matters into his own hands. Apparently the voices in his head have become louder recently and that they were telling him that now was a really good time to blow something up.” (That spokesperson has just been found floating head down under a tree by a Mediterranean beach.)
A new spokesperson later said that Tony felt that once Syria had been sorted out, it was an opportune time for him to invade North Korea, Zimbabwe, Columbia, Swaziland and Burma as none of the those had invited him to speak on international relations. He was about to include Kazakhstan but it appears that his former dark lord & master Lord Peter Mandelmort has developed many business interests there.
Sadly the reality back home is that Cameraman (‘the heir to Blair’) has learned nothing from history and seems hell bent on taking us all to hell by taken ‘action’ in Syria.
Oops, sorry, that last bit wasn’t funny – was it?
A Freedom of Information request by The Sunday Times in 2012 revealed that Blair’s government considered knighting Syria’s President Bashar al-Assad. The documents also showed that Blair was willing to appear alongside Assad at a joint press conference even though the Syrians would probably have settled for a farewell handshake for the cameras; British officials sought to manipulate the media to portray Assad in a favourable light; and Blair’s aides tried to help Assad’s “photogenic” wife boost her profile. The newspaper noted:
The Arab leader was granted audiences with the Queen and the Prince of Wales, lunch with Blair at Downing Street, a platform in parliament and many other privileges. . . . The red carpet treatment he and his entourage received is embarrassing given the bloodbath that has since taken place under his rule in Syria. . . . The courtship has parallels with Blair’s friendly relations with Muammar Gaddafi.
Blair had been on friendly terms with Colonel Gaddafi, the leader of Libya, when sanctions imposed on the country were lifted by United States and United Kingdom. Even after the Libyan civil war in 2011, he said he had no regrets about his close relationship with the late Libyan leader.[128] During Blair’s premiership, MI6 rendered Abdel Hakim Belhaj to the Gaddafi regime in 2004, though Blair later claimed he had “no recollection” of the incident.